Memorial Day, formerly known as Decoration Day, traces its roots to the Civil War, when organized women’s groups in the South began decorating the graves of fallen soldiers as a way to assuage their grief at the losses incurred during what surely must have been seen as the end of the world as they knew it. In that war, there were 2,213,363 people mobilized for duty on both sides of the conflict; a total of 498,332 lost their lives—214,938 directly in battle, and the rest in “nontheater” service.

Since then, 37,843,317 service men and women have been called to duty in six more wars, not counting the current “global war on terror.” Of those, 426,656 fell in combat; another 244,254 were lost in nontheater service.

There aren’t enough grave decorations in the world to assuage the grief for those who have died in these terrible conflicts, or for those who have come home broken in body and spirit, forever changed by the inerasable images of war. Memorial Day is no longer a day to remember only the dead.

This Memorial Day, as we place wreaths on the graves of the fallen, we should be sure to salute and honor those who came home alive, as well—those who are trying to live normal lives, haunted by memories of having to take up arms against fellow travelers on this planet.