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Local women release book on childhood social challenges

On Feb. 5, local cofounders of Social Success in Schools, Donna Shea and Nadine Briggs, launched their new book, How to Make and Keep Friends: Tips for Kids to Overcome 50 Common Social Challenges. Both women have dedicated their lives to educating children and their families on how to handle the nuances of social interactions.

Shea is a behaviorist and director of the Peter Pan Center at 280 Ayer Road, where she provides opportunities for children with mild and moderate social challenges to practice appropriate behavior with their peers. She also conducts workshops, seminars, and conferences on subjects that include anger management in children, bullying, sibling support, and attention-deficit disorder, in schools and other venues across Massachusetts. Shea's inspiration for the Peter Pan Center was a result of her master's thesis about the experience of mothers raising sons with ADHD, titled "Mothering Peter Pan." Shea, the mother of two ADHD boys, knows firsthand the challenges that many parents and children face.

Coauthor Briggs, whose daughter has Down syndrome, also has personal experience with social stigmas. Her knowledge led her to create Social Smart Kids, an online support site for kids challenged by social interactions. She is also a parent-consultant trained through the Federation for Children with Special Needs, a member of the Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress Educational Task Force, and the parent coordinator for the Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress. Briggs says, "Although all children struggle socially at some point during their childhood, those who experience more frequent and consistent social awkwardness need adults to intervene and explicitly teach them social skills. Some children, particularly those with certain types of special needs, have a very difficult time making friends, developing solid friendships, and keeping friends."

Shea and Briggs penned the book as a resource tool for parents and educators, with the hope that these adults can use the information in the book to help socially challenged children overcome their limitations. The book is designed to help kids manage issues that may arise in 50 socially precarious scenarios.

The authors formatted their advice in an easy-to-use top-10 list style. A few of the book's tips relating to the most common social challenges include:

  • How to make new friends in school
  • How to safely handle angry feelings
  • Attending parties
  • Being a good play date guest and host
  • Working in a group

The women feel that the book is "well-timed" with the new 2010 State of Massachusetts requirement for schools to have bullying prevention mandates in place. According to Shea and Briggs, their personal and professional knowledge has taught them that when children receive adult support when learning how to deal with social challenges, exposure to bullying decreases and can possibly be prevented entirely. They also believe that their book can help kids, parents, and teachers differentiate between bullying and interpersonal conflict.

"Some kids aren't able to do this on their own. For example, a child on the autism spectrum has difficulty understanding the feelings of others. They need a 'coach' to teach them to work out things when they can and get help when it is more than just an argument," says Shea. Shea, whose motto is "In order to be a friend, you need to have a friend," feels strongly about the importance of friendship and the role it plays in social skills success. "Ultimately, all Nadine and I want for kids is to know what it is like to have a friend; just one friend is all it takes," she says.

Books can be purchased at www.amazon.com, or at www.HowToMakeAndKeepFriends.com.

Authors Donna Shea and Nadine Briggs (center) display copies of their book. They are surrounded by children and parents at the Peter Pan Center on Ayer Road. (Photo by Lisa Aciukewicz)

Authors Donna Shea and Nadine Briggs (center) display copies of their book. They are surrounded by children and parents at the Peter Pan Center on Ayer Road. (Photo by Lisa Aciukewicz)

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