Directed by: Louis Letterier
Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, Pete Postlethwaite, Sam Worthington
Rating: PG-13

Sam Worthington stars as Perseus in Clash of the Titans. (Courtesy photo)

The new Clash of the Titans is no great film, but anyone who tells you it’s not as good as the original hasn’t seen the original in awhile. Ray Harryhausen’s 1980 version boasted some memorable stop motion, but by arriving in theaters three years after Star Wars, it appeared about 15 years too late. This one, directed by Louis Letterier, feels a bit old-fashioned itself. Most recently renewed franchises have opted for more humor and richer characters. This one is about spectacle, pure and simple. And there is spectacle—specifically big, fun action scenes involving giant scorpions and Medusa. Avatar star Sam Worthington proves he’s got the build to swing swords and ride flying horses. Whether or not he’s an interesting actor is hard to say when his best scenes are with a 60-story tall sea monster.

Perseus (Worthington) thinks he’s the son of a fisherman (Pete Postlethwaite). Really he’s the son of Zeus (Liam Neeson). He’d love to repair fishing nets forever, but the rulers of the Kingdom of Argos have stirred the fury of Mt. Olympus by refusing to honor the gods. Now Hades (Ralph Fiennes, looking like an emaciated David Crosby) has convinced brother Zeus that he should terrify the citizens into loving the gods again. That logic may not make sense to you, but it does to Zeus. Hades demands that the princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) be sacrificed to the massive Krakken, or it will destroy the Kingdom. Now demigod Perseus must lead a band of warriors in search of a way to defeat the Krakken.

It hardly matters that there are no actual Titans in this or the original Clash. The Greek gods are plenty of fun in themselves—or at least should be. They’re the most flawed, complex, and drama-loving of all the major deities. Unfortunately, Mt. Olympus looks like something out of a Windex ad—everything is very shiny and unimaginative. We get brief glimpses of supporting gods, played by the likes of Danny Huston (Poseidon), Alexander Siddig (Hermes), Isabella Miko (Athena) and Jane March (Hestia). One gets the impression much must have fallen to the cutting-room floor, since only Huston gets to speak even a little. The bigger problem is with the nature of such stories: because the gods have ultimate control over the humans, they can affect the story in any way necessary at any time. That tends to put a damper on the suspense. This is personified in Io (Gemma Arterton), another demigod who joins the journey. Io is doomed to eternal youthfulness, and has watched over Perseus since he was an infant. Does that make it a little uncomfortable when the two get the hots for each other? No more so than making Zeus a sympathetic character when his participation in Perseus’ conception was, shall we say, nonconsensual.

Louis Letterier did a solid job reviving The Incredible Hulk two years ago, and does come through with a few effective sequences. But there was no need for the Travis Beacham/ Phil Hay/ Matt Manfredi screenplay to be so muddy. Clash pretty much stays on the rails until the inevitable third-act disaster. The Krakken itself is kind of fun—a shot of Perseus racing through the city port on Pegasus while the beast writhes majestically in the bay behind him in the one potentially iconic moment in the film. But the religious zealot, vigorously played by Luke Treadway, who leads the attempted sacrifice of Andromeda, is both off-putting and irrelevant. And the final showdown between Perseus and Hades is a dud.

The last time Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes shared the screen was a little 1993 film called Schindler’s List. This pairing is somewhat less significant, but probably more fun for the two. They manage to bark and hiss their overwrought lines with somber faces, but it’s unfair to suggest they only showed up for the paycheck. Who wouldn’t want a shot a playing a Greek god? And isn’t it great in the trailer when Neeson turns and growls “Release the Krakken!” The rest of the cast is fine, even if no one can stand out when all the dialogue sounds the same. It’s fun to see About a Boy star Nicholas Hoult all grown up as one of Perseus’ men. Pouty-lipped Arterton (Pirate Radio) is quite lovely as Io. It will be nice to see her playing what appears to be almost the exact same role in next month’s Prince of Persia.

There is a hint of a theme in Clash of the Titans: Perseus is determined to achieve his quest as a man—to do it without depending on the gods for any help. There’s a compelling statement to be made in there, but it becomes problematic: first, no studio wants to risk upsetting religious groups in their mainstream blockbusters; second, working without the gods means a lot less special effects. And since Clash is really about those giant scorpions and that snaky Medusa, that’s where the attention should go. In short, Clash of the Titans tries to pretend it isn’t a kid’s movie, but it simply is. Clash lacks the feeling of mythology coming alive that a great sword-and-sandal epic demands. But for an early-spring block of disposable eye-candy, it does the trick. For the record, the movie is best viewed the way it was originally intended: in the old-fashioned two-dimensions.

Alex Manugian lives in Sherman Oaks, Calif. He grew up in Groton and has reviewed movies for Harvard readers for many years.