(in which the Sullivans get "The Letter" from the Town Center Sewer Task Force)
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| Erin Ash Sullivan plays ukulele to accompany her original composition at the Friends of the Arts talent show last Saturday night. (Photo by Lisa Aciukewicz) |
I thought we’d be together nigh on 30 years—
A silent witness to my hopes and fears
But then I got their note—knew what that letter meant
Our time was ending due to pending sewer betterment.
So I say…
Hey, hey, ho, ho, my mounded septic has got to go
I got eighteen thousand gallons of daily flow*
With my one-time betterment fee
Ooh, ooh, hee, hee, what’s my leach field gonna be
An orchard with especially hearty trees
For my one-time betterment fee.
Hey sewer guys, I got you to thank
I won’t have to pump out my septic tank
But I think I’ll miss it a little bit
It was the only thing that could take joking.
Ooh, ooh, pant, pant, excuse me but I gotta rant
I’m gonna get a hookup to a treatment plant
For my one-time betterment fee
Ooh, ooh, hush, hush, pardon me but I got to gush
I just can’t wait for that unlimited flush
With my one-time betterment fee.
I’m proud to say that I’m a fan
Of Harvard’s not-so-mythical master plan
There’s so much good news, and so much more,
(And some super-dooper poopin’ at the General Store)
Ooh, ooh, oh, oh, now I really gotta go
I ain’t got much time to make that dough
For my one-time betterment
(Payin’ for my excrement)
One-time betterment fee!
*To be perfectly accurate, this is 18,400 gallons, or 80 percent, of the permitted 23,000-gallon capacity of the current wastewater treatment plant.