I pretend I am nine.
This is my first time in Harvard.
The summer heat of ’99
Boils the lake that I can barely see
Through a thick layer of trees.
The realtor claims we have a seasonal view.
If the neighbor across the street
Takes a chainsaw to all the trees
I might be able to see our
Beautiful lake.
We drive past the General,
The library,
Then the two schools.
I admire the elementary school.
But I long to be older so I can
Wander the halls of what at the moment
Is the forbidden territory,
A new adventure only to be had
By those around a foot taller than me
And three years older.
I hear the General has ice cream.
I hear the library is cool.
I hear the Common is good for sledding.
Now I am sixteen.
Our seasonal view is no better
Than how it was eight years ago.
Our neighbor across the street has moved
And if I look to my right,
I can see my other neighbor’s
House quite clearly.
The trees are gone,
The ground is bare.
I am afraid we will never get
Such a hot summer as the one
In 1999.
It was summer in winter
And winter in spring.
I wonder where fall’s going to go
And where summer falls
Into this cycle of flipped seasons
And flowers so confused
That they make one mistake,
One wrong bloom,
And die.
My family and I drive past
The General,
The library soon to be emptied of books,
The two schools,
Neither of which I attend.
I’m too old to be in the shelter
Of elementary school
Where every birthday is a party
And where every mistake only loses
A golden star on the board.
I now long to be in college
Which is a new and forbidden territory,
A new adventure to only be had
By those two years older than me
And two years wiser.
I hear the General store has been sold.
I hear the library is moving.
I hear the Common is bare of snow.
I grew up in Harvard
And Harvard grew up with me.
So what can I say when I talk about
My home town?
I will tell people that I learned
That the four-way intersection
In the middle of town
Is nowhere as confusing
As my life in the future.
I can remember that,
In English class in sixth grade,
I learned that candied ginger
Is not candy
And should be taken,
Like life,
In small bites.
Lastly, if all fails,
I can remind people that
I got into Harvard
At the age of nine.
Loren Cruise is a junior at the Arlington School.