Oscar Wilde once remarked that “no age borrows the slang of its predecessor.” As usual, Oscar was right on the money. After all, what self-respecting senior would say such words or phrases as awesome, cool, dweeb, or on your jock? Nor would we fall back on the old lingo of our youth like holey-moley, groovy, hunky-dory, or I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
But it is not only a generational thing, because slang and colloquial expressions have probably been around since human beings discovered articulated speech. While we don’t know the picturesque language of prehistoric cave dwellers, the myths and folktales handed down from ancient times contain many colorful, and in some instances raunchy words and phrases. One has only to dip into the plays of Shakespeare to get a rich taste of Elizabethan slang. But language moves on and the ancient lingo no longer exists. For example, we don’t refer to infrantrymen as dusty feet, as the ancient Greeks did, or a fat person as bed presser, as the Elizabethans did.
Still, caught between the past and the present, we seniors have no slang to call our own. Teenyboppers, yuppies, preppies, druggies, geeks, pundits, the fuzz, jocks, hippies, and rappers have their own slang expressions, but not us seniors. Somehow it doesn’t seem fair.
Therefore, the time has come for our generation to break the language shackles that bind us and invent our own slang, jargon, lingo, or whatever you want to call it. I call it SeniorSpeak. But what is this thing called slang anyway? The American Heritage Dictionary describes it as, “The nonstandard vocabulary of a given culture or subculture, consisting typically of arbitrary and often ephemeral coinage and figures of speech characterized by spontaneity and raciness.” But the short and straightforward answer may be that you’ll know it when you hear it.
So seniors, let’s flex our linguistic muscles and show those young whippersnappers (oops, wrong era) that we can be just as creative slang-wise as they are. Actually, making up slang words and expressions can be fun. Here are some ways to do it.
- Corruption slang (this is a lot of fun)—create words by distorting other words, e.g. screendoor for senior, or shock joker for stock broker.
- Rhyming slang—invented by citizens of East London, a word is replaced by words or phrases that rhyme (usually) with the word substituted, e.g. apples and pears for stairs, or elephant’s trunk for drunk. You probably have to be Cockney to do it, but have a go.
- Center slang—just reverse the letters of a word, e.g. edweb for dweeb.
One caveat, however, about slang inventing: no racial, ethnic, gender, religious, or political slang. There is enough of that floating around already. At any rate, to get the ball rolling, I am offering some words and phrases for your consideration, and possible use. One of the wonderful things about the English language is that it is ever-changing and flexible. But remember, the slang we make up today may be history tomorrow.
Auto pilot: Soccer mom or hockey dad chauffeuring their kids to the field or rink.
Beep brain: A person who talks on a cell phone while driving.
Cork the jug: Call it a night.
Crackers and ale (Cockney): A cocktail.
Grandnanny: A grandparent babysitting the grandchildren.
Ignorant hour: Prime-time television.
Maullrauders: Kids who hang around shopping malls with nothing better to do.
Pill porno: Drug company TV commercials.
Rotating the crop: Getting a hair transplant.
Soprano: A self-centered person who can only sing “me, me, me.”
Zeek: A middle-aged geek.