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Workshops promote better communication in middle school

Books written about the sometimes-turbulent years of adolescence are, as any parent knows, ubiquitous. Advice on ushering children from puberty to maturity abounds, filling bookshelves to overflowing. However, information about the emotional life of young and pre-teens is harder to find, even though the middle school years present unique challenges. Project Wellness, in its second year at the Bromfield School, targets seventh- and eighth-graders, providing expert-led workshops for both youngsters and their parents. Recently, workshop leader Carolyn Imperato offered a communication seminar for parents and children, while leader Sue Blaney provided advice from her book Stop the Rollercoaster!

This year, the half-day seventh-grade program was held at local churches at no cost to the school, realizing a $5,000 savings from last year’s event, which took place at a local community college. The eighth-grade workshops, held last month, were offered during advisory periods at Bromfield.

According to Jenny Gormley, a nurse and supervisor in the Acton-Boxborough school system who coordinated the seventh-grade program, Acton has had a wellness program for 10 years. “It’s a daylong, popular event in Acton,” she said, “but it’s still a new concept in Harvard.” Gormley cited a good turnout, with about 85 of Harvard’s 110 seventh-graders attending the event, most with a parent or other trusted adult. She and her seventh-grade daughter also attended the workshop. “I was glad to learn that the social walls they put up in middle school start to fall away as they get older. The cliques start to open up,” she said, describing her experience in the “Demystifying Teens” workshop. She said that both resident Ellen Sachs Leicher and middle school guidance counselor Cindy Hurley deserved credit for getting the program off the ground. With Hurley’s support, Leicher lined up the speakers, nine in all, and designed logistics in the fledgling year of the program.

Hurley emphasized the need to steer middle school students down a path of emotional and social well-being, especially considering that four years ago health classes were eliminated by a cut in state funding, she said. “I haven’t had a health class since sixth grade,” explained one tenth-grader. “Our P.E. teachers have an anti-drug, alcohol, and smoking program for us, using mostly movies and the Internet. That’s it.”

Hurley worked with parent volunteers to partially fill the void, with the goal of fostering social and emotional intelligence and healthy, productive communication and decision-making. “I love the idea of exposing the kids to topics and strategies that parents are already familiar with,” she said, adding that the strategies help kids succeed at school, at jobs, and in family life. Noting that such topics can be sensitive, Hurley said she was clear with the kids that the wellness program was about active, enjoyable learning. No one, she told them, would be asked to disclose any personal information: just listening was perfectly fine. “That put the kids at ease,” she said.

On May 18, seventh-grade workshops were buzzing with helpful hints and discussion. The workshop session titled “Huh? Are You Talking to Me?” advised parents to keep a loving attitude, but to set firm boundaries, set and keep limits, and demand responsibility. Along with fruitful discussion, the high spirits and sense of humor common to young teens sometimes revealed itself. At the “Improving Communication” workshop, one boy volunteered a unique strategy for improving parent-child dialogue. “How about a microphone?” he suggested to his mom.

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