Signs that you’re a yuppie mom
by Claire McCormack Hazlett · Friday, August 31, 2007
All of the following are true occurrences from the past couple of months:
- Your 4½-year-old daughter is playing with her tea set and you overhear her offering her teddy bear a “latte.”
- You see a blog titled “If You Give My Toddler a Blackberry” and you think it’s referring to an electronic device rather than a fruit.
- Your 19-month-old son actually knows which button on Daddy’s Blackberry to push in order to get a dial tone.
- Your daughter asks when can she have her own blog.
- Your daughter recognizes a Mozart tune but has no idea what Grandpa is referring to when he says “wascally wabbit.”
- You have a long discussion with some fellow moms about raw milk vs. organic milk vs. goat’s milk and the best places to purchase the aforementioned.
- You seriously consider driving two hours each way to attend a chicken pox party.
- You overhear the kids at park-day playgroup pretending to be ancient Romans fleeing the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.
- The kids in the playgroup have names like Soleil, Finn, Lydia, Ivy, Graham, Clark, Catriona, Coco, Leilani, Gianna, Leon, Tobias, Veronique, Jasper, Bram, and Atticus.
- Your mom asks your daughter “What does Daddy do at his job?” and when she answers “He makes money for [name of his employer]” you realize you have no clue how to explain his job function in a way that will make sense to her any more than that.
- Your daughter talks about getting a dog “after I finish graduate school.”
- You volunteer your son as a guinea pig for the learning lab at the local university and you use the opportunity to explain the scientific method to his big sister.
- Your son makes the American sign language sign for “milk” when presented with a cup as part of the experiment.
- Your old babysitter growing up is now a post-doctorate fellow in neuroscience at Stanford and just got married at a Buddhist retreat in a ceremony that started with the “marriage is what brings us together today” speech from The Princess Bride.
- You attend a Girl Scouts organizing meeting and the kids give blank looks when asked if they like Pizza Hut and KFC. You suspect they would’ve responded enthusiastically if asked whether they like Bertucci’s and Panera.
- Your 4½-year-old has been to the symphony, the ballet, and the modern art museum, but not Chuck E. Cheese’s.
- You announce to your kids that “We are now in Harvard” and your daughter asks to see the college.
Claire is a 1995 Bromfield graduate now living with her husband and two children in the San Francisco Bay area. This is an expanded version of a post from her blog “Bending the Twigs.”