The Tower family, from left: Paul, Corey, Matthew, Lauren, and Joy. (Courtesy photo)

After watching the show Wife Swap one evening, Barton Road resident Joy Tower filled out the online application to be on the show, as a lark. After being selected to be on the program last fall, life has been anything but dull—particularly after the Towers’ episode of Wife Swap aired on April 30 and became the talk of the town.

A warm and outgoing woman, Tower gives the impression of someone open to adventure, even if that means spending two weeks in the shoes of her polar opposite. But the first thing she wants viewers to know about her is she does not clean her house for eight hours a day, or buff her countertops to such a shine that she can see her own reflection. In fact, she said, she is far too busy working full-time as an elder care advisor and caring for her family. The reality TV show bears little resemblance to the truth of her life as she knows it, she explained, and she wants to set the record straight.

The basic premise of Wife Swap is the pairing of two wildly different personalities, filming them as they spend two weeks with the other woman’s husband and children. Chaos inevitably develops as the women discover they can’t stand the other’s idiosyncratic ways—or more likely, Tower said, that chaos is orchestrated by the production team.

Paired with Stephanie Sundstrom, a drag-racing enthusiast and mother of four from Gilbert, Ariz., Tower found herself confronting a level of bedlam she never dreamed of. Dirty laundry was piled several feet deep in every bedroom, she said, and viewers of the show could see that clean clothes were simply tossed onto the pool table for retrieval. The first week—when the show stipulates that the swapped wife must live by the house rules—Tower also had to toss her clothes into the mix, intimates and all.

“That really bothered me,” she said.

Followed by a camera crew for every waking moment, the tension eventually mounted for both women. Tower was appalled by the lack of housekeeping and any real parental guidance for the four children. For her part, Sundstrom decried what she viewed as the Towers’ lack of fun and joy in their lives.

Tower perked up when talking about the second week in the Sundstrom household, when Chuck Sundstrom and the children took her drag racing.

“I had a blast!” she said with a smile.

During the second week the family had to live by her rules, and rule she did. Clothes were folded and put into drawers, and three of the four children went to the barbershop. While the children were used to drinking Dr. Pepper for breakfast and eating fast food for dinner, Tower made a special effort to cook substantial meals, she said, something that was later edited out of the show. Over and over, she said, she tried to convey her values of hard work and pride in achievement, and wishes that ABC had shown more of that side of her rather than the judgmental, class-obsessed person she feels the producers wanted to portray.

“Class is beside the point,” Tower said. “It’s about taking care of what you have.”

So many positive scenes were left on the cutting-room floor, she pointed out, but the crew shot more than 200 hours of film, for a total of 38 minutes of air time.

“And when you sign the contract, ABC has full control of the show,” she explained.

While Tower had her hands full in Arizona, Paul Tower and Matthew, 17, Lauren, 15, and Corey, 11, were having a blast. Matt and Lauren both enjoyed getting to know the production crew, and Paul had a great time on the family’s outing to the Formula One racetrack in Braintree. Sundstrom’s focus on having round-the-clock fun was something the kids also really enjoyed, Tower said, and Matt liked talking about cars with someone so knowledgeable. At the end of the two-week swap, however, they were thrilled to have Mom back again, and Paul can be seen shedding tears of joy when reunited with his wife.

Tower also talked about one of the most memorable scenes in the show, when Stephanie Sundstrom accuses Paul Tower of agreeing with her criticism of Joy, thereby “throwing her under the bus.” Tower said that one of the lessons she learned from the whole experience is to lighten up a little bit on cleaning and trade that time for a regular date night with her husband. She came back from Arizona even more grateful for her family, she said, and with a renewed appreciation for her relationship with Paul. One of the hardest parts of the whole experience was not being able to talk to him because the rules of the show prohibit contact during the two-week swap, Tower explained.

“We’re each other’s best friend, and not to be able to say, ‘This is wacked!’ was really hard.”

Since Wife Swap aired, Tower said she has been enjoying the proverbial 15 minutes of fame, and is occasionally recognized while out in public. She keeps in touch with the Sundstrom family once in awhile, and would like to take a family vacation in Arizona sometime before Matt graduates from Bromfield.

While the whole experience was interesting and definitely out of the ordinary, Tower has no plans for another star turn in reality TV.

“Our real passion is just working hard and being good parents to our kids and trying to teach them lessons in life,” she said.